sappycas asked: Destiel & “Can we pretend I didn’t just say that?”
Dean had never been good with confessions – even with the little ones. It had been Cas who first said the unexpected I love you; unexpected because Dean had never thought before that a feeling such beautiful as the one could ever be returned. Cas was the one who, shyly as himself, offered Dean a meeting at their favourite cinema, as a date. He was the one who’d initiated holding hands during the movie, and he kissed Dean first. Dean had wondered if he should feel weird about all of this, but it felt strangely okay. He’d been still worried that Cas thought Dean had to be convinced in any special way to do things with him.
So he bought the engagement ring.
Cas had proposed first—just a minute faster than Dean
totally stealing the mood Dean had set, but it’d been Dean who said yes first during their wedding.
They had only talked about their future once, and it hadn’t turned out well. They had had their first fight about it. Dean had started it. No, he wasn’t proud of it but Cas wanted to move out of their comfortable apartment and buy a big house on another continent, in Europe, because it was – like he’d said – the repository of the finest art. Who would ever understand artists? They had made up soon afterwards. Some time later they’d bought a small, charming burgalow in their childhood town.
They were sitting on their house’s porch, cuddled together as they watched fireflies flying around their own little garden, and they reminisced about their lives, shared since the very first day of kindergarten. They laughed at the memory of Cas the child giving Dean his first lopsided paintings, and at the way little Dean had always rushed with help whenever one of Castiel’s toys broke. They kissed smiles back onto each other’s lips at the sadder thoughts.
Those sessions had always ended with the joke about Dean and his love for pie. This time would be exactly the same, if it weren’t for Dean and his unexpected confession.
Anxiety is like perpetually hearing the boss/enemy music but never seeing the threat.